Funniest Memes of All Time/Famous Funny Quotes


Let’s catch some fun with these best collections of Funniest memes of all time/Famous funny quotes and funny quotes about life in general.


 Funniest Memes of All Time/Famous Funny Quotes


“Revenge” sounds so mean, that’s why I prefer to call it “Returning the favor.” Unknown


My life needs editing. Mort Sahl


If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me. – Unknown


To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone. Reba McEntire


In the morning I can’t eat, I’m thinking of you. In the evening I can’t eat, I’m thinking of you. In the night I can’t sleep… I’m so hungry! Unknown


I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side, there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left. Unknown


I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning, I will be sober and you will still be ugly. Winston Churchill


You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I’m scared! – Unknown


I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are. Unknown

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. Jim Carrey


I’d Luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair. Bette Davis


Funniest Memes of All Time/Famous Funny Quotes
funny memes





Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. Elbert Hubbard


Men cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter. James A. Garfield
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. Unknown


If at first, you don’t succeed, find out if the loser gets anything. William Lyon Phelps
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. George Carlin


I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet. Rodney Dangerfield

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. – Unknown


No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar. Abraham Lincoln


Funniest Memes of All Time
Funniest Memes



At night, I can’t fall asleep. In the morning, I can’t get up. Unknown


When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye. Cathy Guisewite
If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while, it won’t feel like you are alone anymore. Unknown


My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. Rodney Dangerfield


Never have more children than you have car windows. Erma Bombeck


Funniest Memes of All Time
Funniest Memes of All Time


Famous Funny Quotes
Funny memes


Funny memes
Funny memes


I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. Steven Wright


My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. Mitch Hedberg


I’m not running away from hard work, I’m too lazy to run. Unknown


Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. Hedy Lamarr


I changed my password everywhere to ‘incorrect.’ That way when I forget it, it always reminds me, ‘Your password is incorrect. Unknown

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. Rodney Dangerfield


Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. Jules Renard
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. Billy Sunday


A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often. Oliver Herford


My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. Joan Rivers


I like Kit-Kat unless I’m with four or more people. Mitch Hedberg



Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty. Sicilian Proverb


Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it’s a brighter day. Unknown


I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you. Unknown


Laugh and the world laugh with you, snore and you sleep alone. Anthony Burgess

In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson. Tom Bodett

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. Mark Twain


They say “don’t try this at home” so I’m coming over to your house to try it. Unknown


Life is hard. After all, it kills you. Katharine Hepburn







The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. Unknown


If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. Abraham Lincoln

If we shouldn’t eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge? Unknown


Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves? Robin Williams


Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright. Laurell K. Hamilton


Silence is golden unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. Unknown


Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. Don Marquis

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice cream. Bill Murray


I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. Unknown


As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Payday, lunchtime, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement. Tom Goins



Weather forecast for tonight: dark. George Carlin


High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead. Christopher Morley


If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments. Steven Wright


I live on a one-way street that’s also a dead end. I’m not sure how I got there. Steven Wright


Spring is nature’s way of saying, ‘Let’s party!’ Robin Williams


The road to success is always under construction. Lily Tomlin


Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is. Steve Martin


Sometimes I’m really funny, sometimes I’m quiet, sometimes I’m shy, but I’m constantly changing. Elle King


Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once. Unknown


The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not. Mark Twain


All my life I’ve wanted, just once, to say something clever without losing my train of thought. Robert Breault

Man cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter. James A. Garfield


When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work. Unknown


Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we’ll find it. Sam Levenson


When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. Rodney Dangerfield


As your best friend, I’ll always pick you up when you fall, after I finish laughing. Unknown


You cannot be anything if you want to be everything. Solomon Schechter


Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most. Ozzy Osbourne



Funniest Memes of All Time/Famous Funny Quotes
Funny memes

Famous Funny Quotes

Am I perfect? No. But am I striving to be a better person every day? Also no. Unknown


By all means let’s be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out. Richard Dawkins


Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. Mae West


I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. Fred Allen


Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. Mark Twain


Got to work this morning and my boss told me ‘have a good day’, so I went home and had a great day! Unknown


I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. Lily Tomlin


Have no fear of perfection – you’ll never reach it. Salvador Dali


I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong. Bertrand Russellashed


Don’t talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave. Wilson Mizner

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names. John F. Kennedy


Seeing a spider in my room isn’t scary. It’s scary when it disappears. Unknown



A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. Lana Turner


People learn something every day, and a lot of times it’s that what they learned the day before was wrong. Bill Vaughan


Life always offers you a second chance. It’s called tomorrow. Unknown


Funniest Memes of All Time/Famous Funny Quotes
Funny memes


Everything happens for a reason. But sometimes the reason is that you’re stupid and you make bad decisions. Unknown


Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway. Joey Adams


If you’re hotter than me, then that means I’m cooler than you. Unknown


I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her. Rodney Dangerfield


I went window shopping today! I bought four windows. Tommy Cooper

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head. Steven Wright


Don’t worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet. Unknown

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. Josh Billings


                               Funny quotes with pictures


When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife. Prince Philip


Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them. G. Wodehouse

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison – if it wasn’t for him, we’d be watching television by candlelight. Milton Berle


The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one. Oscar Wilde


Why don’t you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum. G. Wodehouse

All men are equal before fish. Herbert Hoover








I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. Mitch Hedberg


How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand. Emo Philips


Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened. Dr. Seuss


An optimist is a fellow who believes a housefly is looking for a way to get out. George Jean Nathan


I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers because I can always count on them. Unknown


Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back. Oscar Wilde


On some great and glorious day, the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron. L. Mencken


If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff? George Carlin


The closest a person ever comes to perfection is when he fills out a job application form. Stanley Randall

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it. Rodney Dangerfield

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason. Unknown
This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last. Oscar Wilde




Funniest Memes of All Time/Famous Funny Quotes
funny memes
Funniest Memes of All Time/Famous Funny Quotes
Funniest Memes of All Time/Famous Funny Quotes

Funniest Memes of All Time/Famous Funny Quotes

Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. Will Rogers

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. Abe Lemons


Education can get you the only thing that really matters in today’s world – an assigned parking space. Gene Perret


When a teacher calls a boy by his entire name, it means trouble. Mark Twain


Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. George Carlin


The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management. Scott Adams


If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses. Henry Ford


If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance. George Bernard Shaw


The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable. Lane Olinghouse


It just occurred to me that the majority of my diet is made up of the foods that my kid didn’t finish. Carrie Underwood


When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. Nora Ephron


I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Rita Rudner


My wife gets all the money I make. I just get some apples and clean clothes every morning. Ray Romano


Eighty per cent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. Jackie Mason


A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. Woodrow Wyatt


I don’t have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who’d be mad at me for saying that. Mitch Hedberg


The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired. Milton Berle


When my wife says she’ll be ready in 5 minutes, I know I have just enough time to fly to space and write a poem on the moon before we go. Mike Vanatta


When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there’s a reason. Molly McGee


A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him. Brendan Francis


I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time. Unknown


People are like music. Some speak the truth, and others are just noise. Bill Murray


It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head, I’m quite busy. Unknown


I didn’t fall, I’m just spending some quality time with the floor. Unknown


I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge. Unknown


Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I’m tired of solving them for you. Unknown

My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them. Unknown


When the past comes knocking, don’t answer. It has nothing new to tell you. Unknown


Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along. Unknown


If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front. Unknown


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. Unknown


Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer. Ellen DeGeneres


Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. Elbert Hubbard


Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. Unknown


I remixed a remix, it was back to normal. Mitch Hedberg

I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake. Unknown

The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep! Unknown


If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success? Jerry Seinfeld


A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. Winston S. Churchill


When nothing is going right, go left. Unknown


Reality continues to ruin my life. Bill Watterson


I’m not arguing. I’m simply explaining why I’m right. Unknown


Never miss a good chance to shut up. Will Rogers


I’d like to live like a poor man – only with lots of money. Pablo Picasso


Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect. Unknown


Love is blind; friendship tries not to notice. Otto von Bismarck


Please cancel my subscriptions to your issues. Unknown


All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height. Casey Stengel


You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go. Bill Watterson

Work hard, nap hard. Demi Lovato


There’s a wonderful sense of well-being that begins to circulate… up and down your spine. And you feel something that makes you almost want to smile. So, what’s it like to be me? Ask yourself, ‘What’s it like to be me?’ The only way we’ll ever know what it’s like to be you is if you work your best at being you as often as you can, and keep reminding yourself that’s where home is. Bill Murray


I don’t believe that you can give the same performance every take. It’s physically impossible, so why bother? If you don’t do what is happening at that moment, then it’s not real. Then you’re holding something back. Bill Murray

1 thought on “Funniest Memes of All Time/Famous Funny Quotes”

Leave a Comment